monontiny

“If we couldn’t laugh, we’d all go insane.” – Jimmy Buffet

So often I drive down the street in my minivan and these thoughts enter my head and I want so badly to have my laptop to let them pour out onto the page. Where is my self driving car so that I can do this? I mean for crying out loud, the Jetson’s promised me a flying car. I could be so much more productive.

It seems my life exists around one main street in Atlanta. While Atlanta may have millions of people, and hundreds of thousands of streets (25% of them all being named Peachtree because we’re super creative) I find myself on the exact-same-street at least a dozen times a day.

Yesterday I saw this poor hawk that was killed on this road. A few hours later I was on the phone with my friend and in the middle of the conversation she said “Oh no! A poor hawk!” Yep. Such is the life of a stay at home Mom – we got a lockdown on this community street at all times.

Is it me or is adulthood just very monotonous? Empty dishwasher. Fix something. Fill dishwasher. Clean spilled milk. Fix something. Empty dishwasher. Don’t hit your brother! Hi husband. Oh shit, you’re home and it’s time for dinner? Fill dishwasher. Well crap now I have no pots to cook with because they are dirty. And I didn’t get to the grocery store because….well. I emptied and loaded the dishwasher all day.

Please, please don’t judge me and do that whole “she isn’t grateful thing” because that’s not what I’m saying. I’m eternally grateful. But one of the biggest blessings of this blog is that I get to interact with other women and we each get to share our experiences without actually knowing each other.

Far and away, I received the most feedback from these two videos I shared on Instagram (here and here.) Social media can both be amazingly inspiring and it can also downright suck. Because if you think that one social media image portrays a life of perfection, you’re not getting the full story. When I shared that video so many people wrote me to say they felt empowered by it, or excited to hear they weren’t alone in this struggle for self definition. All of us want the same thing – to give, to love, to feel respect and love and to feel as if we are needed, useful and appreciated. It’s just human nature.

Sometimes when you empty the dishwasher four times a day or drive up and down the same street you can get this zombie like expression on your face and realize you haven’t eaten, so you eat the goldfish leftovers you found in your cup holder and muse – so this is adulthood, huh? This is happening.

This blog has become a major distraction for me. There’s a freedom in it I hadn’t had in the decade since giving up my career to be a career Mom. I admit it’s made me less so organized around the house because I tend to put things on the back burner in order to take these photos or sit down to write and share my thoughts and then time to promote them. So I’m not 100% stellar in the homemaking department right now, but I feel more alive than I have in years.

I really don’t have a full point to this story or rambling, but I just wanted to express to you all that if you have that zombie like face on, and no idea what you want to do with your life creatively or you forgot to empty the dishwasher, it’s ok. You got this girl and I send you blessings to find your creative outlet. Life is monotonous but if we work really hard, and give up the dishwasher a little bit you may just find some inner joy you’ve been seeking. I know I have and I believe you will, too. Have a great weekend and I’m sending you happy thoughts. And with that, I have a bunch of errands to run on the exact same street I drove on twelve times yesterday and to the exact same stores. Ha! It’s rather hysterical to me.